Cobalt Red

Posts and Provocations

Thoughts on disruption, incongruence and change from my outlook on coaching, leadership and life

  • This is not semantics.

    Having presence is not the same as being present.

    You can be in the room and still not show up.

    You can speak and still not be heard.

    You can lead and still don’t have the impact you want.

    I see it often—leaders navigating change, transitions, new chapters. They’re visible, yes, but something’s missing. The spark. The conviction. The why. Their presence.

    Presence isn’t about being busy or booked.

    It’s about being intentional.

    It’s about showing up with your values intact.

    Some things I ask in coaching conversations:

    •      What are you holding back that needs to be said?

    • Where are you showing up out of habit, not purpose?

    •      What would shift if you led from alignment, not obligation?

    • What do you need to do today that if you don’t do it, you will regret it in 6 months?

    Leadership isn’t about noise.

    It’s about clarity. And sometimes, the quietest voice is the one that changes everything

  • What are you silently agreeing to if you don’t speak up?

    💫 “Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it.” — Maya Angelou

    We learn to navigate systems not built with us in mind.

    To make space, even when it’s not given.

    So what do you want next?
    More impact? More clarity? More space to lead on your terms?

    It takes more than courage—it takes clarity, timing, and a willingness to be seen and heard. Here’s what the research and coaching wisdom suggest:

    🔍 What it takes to ask for what you want at work:

    • Clarity of desire
      Know what you’re asking for and why it matters. Is it about impact, balance, recognition, or growth? The clearer you are, the easier it is to communicate.
    • Emotional readiness
      Asking isn’t just about words—it’s about being prepared for the response. That includes hearing “no,” negotiating, or even being surprised by a “yes.”
    • Strategic timing
      Choose moments when your contribution is visible, when trust is high, or when the organisation is open to change. A well-timed ask lands better than a rushed one.
    • A sense of consequence
      Not asking has a cost. It can mean staying silent while others shape your path.

    Not speaking up is still a choice.

    It’s a quiet yes.
    To staying small.
    To letting others define the terms.
    To accepting consequences we didn’t choose.

    In coaching, I ask:
    👉 “If you say yes to this, what are you saying no to?”
    But sometimes, the real question is:
    👉 “If you don’t speak up, what are you silently agreeing to?”

    Leadership isn’t just about being heard.
    It’s about choosing to be heard—especially when it’s uncomfortable.

    💬 What’s your silence costing you?

  • Are you being present or do you have presence?

    This is not semantics.

    Having presence is not the same as being present.

    You can be in the room and still not show up.

    You can speak and still not be heard.

    You can lead and still don’t have the impact you want.

    I see it often—leaders navigating change, transitions, new chapters. They’re visible, yes, but something’s missing. The spark. The conviction. The why. Their presence.

    Presence isn’t about being busy or booked.

    It’s about being intentional.

    It’s about showing up with your values intact.

    Some things I ask in coaching conversations:

    •      What are you holding back that needs to be said?

    • Where are you showing up out of habit, not purpose?

    •      What would shift if you led from alignment, not obligation?

    • What do you need to do today that if you don’t do it, you will regret it in 6 months?

    Leadership isn’t about noise.

    It’s about clarity.

    And sometimes, the quietest voice is the one that changes everything.

  • Incongruence

    Incongruent : out of keeping; unexpected, not what you thought you were getting.

    In a recent visit to Cape Town, we enjoyed some amazing food at the Waterside Restaurant at the V and A waterfront. Looking down at the menu we were intrigued by the course named catus garden.

    It was a narrow trough of assorted catus plants. But nestled in amongst them masquerading as a catus was our palate cleanser (middle of the photo).

    It could best be described as a solid Margarita sorbet – all tequila, chilli and lime, the spikes were flower stamens.

    Creative and quirky- yes.

    Delicious- utterly

     Incongruent – most definitely

    And what has this to do with coaching?

    There are times when working with my clients, they start to see and appreciate some aspect of their work from a different perspective, a different lens, something unexpected and incongruent.

  • How would you define courage?

    The Chambers dictionary definition of courage is

    The quality that enables people to meet danger without giving way to fear

    My definition would be

    Saying yes to something with no clear idea of how you will do it

    Doing something that you had never considered before

    Not being afraid to fail, because you know you won’t

    On our recent adventure in Botswana, we came across a lioness who was, singlehandedly, raising 8 cubs. Her sisters were killed when the babies were about 3 months old. Not only did she lose her sisters, but she also lost an eye and has a deep gash in her face still.

    So, in addition to her own twins, she suckled all 8. The cubs are now 6 months old and thriving- look at the photos.

    She represents all the elements of my definition.

    So what, what is the relevance for us at work?

    Take another look at my definitions and ask yourself did you rise to the challenges at work and if you did how did you celebrate your courage?

  • Self reflection; article by Stephen Fleming, University College. London

    This is thought provoking;

    By boosting self awareness in our daily lives we might notice things we haven’t noticed before in ourselves, in others and in our surroundings. These changes may permeate many aspects of our lives, because being self aware is central to how we experience the world, The kind of consciousness we cherish- the kind that allows us to appreciate the smell of coffee, reflect on the beauty of a sunset- involves ‘meta awareness ‘, a state of knowing that we are conscious.

  • Vulnerability- your superpower?

    Vulnerability is definitely an under explored topic-for both men and women. Often seen as a weakness, I believe we should redefine it as a superpower which encompasses confidence, self awareness and authenticity.

  • Bologna and Cobalt Red

    Another glorious month in Bologna, living and speaking Italian. On our arrival hundreds of Bolognese were sporting blue and red colours. Their team had just reached the Champions leagues for the first time in 62 years. Know I loved the city especially when I saw cobalt blue and red napkins nestled together!

  • 50 clients and still going!



    When I set up my coaching business, Cobalt Red, just under 5 years ago, I decided that 20% of my work would be offered on a pro bono basis.

    I am delighted to announce that I have now coached over 50 pro bono clients from more than 12 African countries all of whom are the alumni of the African Leadership Academy (ALA). This seminal organisation takes the crème de la crème of young people from across the African continent. They are supported to complete their first degree, then often move on to Oxford, Harvard, Stanford and other prestigious universities for a second degree- be that a PhD or MBA.

    They are undoubtedly the leaders and entrepreneurs of tomorrow and the coaching partnership I create with them is the catalyst for so much more.

    The experience is one which is challenging, rewarding and sometimes humbling-and I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

    My thanks go to my clients, some of whom are listed below and those at ALA who helped to have it happen.

  • Incongruent? Is this where you park your bike?

    Love this photo from one of our favouite restaurants in Bologna.

    Not the usual place for bikes!

  • Incongruence 2

    Incongruence-the difference between the expected and perceived experience.

    Please take note ….
    Not when you are on Zoom or Teams
    And certainly not if you live in Edinburgh as I do.

  • Incongruence 2

    Incongruence-the difference between the expected and perceived experience.

  • One Day

    Have you read One Day by David Nicholls or perhaps you are watching the Netflix series?


    is it ONE DAY
    or
    DAY ONE

    and if it is not Day One
    to what are you saying yes?
    what is stopping you?
    how are you going to address the obstacles you see and feel?
    how important is this to you?

    It is all about provoking disruption – which is how I describe my coaching style.

  • Giacometti-esque

    I love this image of our two dear friends Mo and Jo and their lurcher, Pixie.
    At first glance it is rather Giacometti-esque with very elongated legs and tiny bodies. It got me thinking about perspectives and how we can look at an image, conjure a thought and ‘see’ it with a particular version of truth. In coaching I challenge that view, trigger disruption of what is being seen and invite the client to look from a different position and re-evaluate.

  • Kintsugi

    I was going to delete this as it wasn’t the photo I thought I had taken. But there was something about it that was rather wonderful, creative and beautiful -so I kept it. Sometimes a surprising image or being out of focus can be a good thing that leads to seeing something in a completely different way/different view. And reminiscent of the Japanese art of Kintsugi. Kintsugi is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold. As a philosophy, it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise. And something which makes the object even more beautiful. So what is the impact on my coaching practice? Embracing and learning from our history whilst understanding that the only element that can be transformed is the future. It is not how far you have come, it is how far are you prepared to go.

  • Why Cobalt Red and not Cobalt Red?


    This is an example of The Stroop effect. In the classic Stroop task, participants struggle to quickly name the colour of ink a word is written in, when the word itself is a conflicting colour. In executive coaching, the Stroop effect can serve as a metaphor for the challenges leaders face in managing conflicting demands it provokes congruent and incongruent processes. By understanding cognitive interference, clients can enhance their decision making skills, emotional intelligence, and resilience.